Harsh reality of the men in the He deodorant advertisement
The first guy you see in this video is a loner. He scares dogs to while away time. Once he was a happy teenager buying red roses and Toblerone for girls he wanted to woo — he also bought soft toys, but only on birthdays. Then he met Teena; well, didn’t as much as meet her as carried a red hanky and asked her every day if it was hers. That shit didn’t work out for some weird reason. Strangely, Teena took offence and complained to her father.
There’s this other guy who is basically a lizard. Now I don’t know what actually triggered it but the saying goes that once, out of utter boredom — because Roadies was over and there was still some time before Splitsvilla — he was lying on his sofa with his mouth open and tasted a fly. From that day to this he tasted nothing else, nothing else apart from the occasional mosquito and the rare small spider. Rumour has it that he once attempted to climb the walls of his house and got hurt real bad. That he calls himself macho and pretends that he can scare away lizards is actually a reflection of his daily life, where he is always on the other side.
The third guy who turns into a teddy bear in the middle of the song has a terrible story. A part-time sociopath who only smiles for money — like he is doing here — he strangled his teddy bear when he was a kid. His mother thought it was a strange thing to do and sent him off to a boarding school where whenever it would be dark he would get reminded of the dead teddy bear, hanging weightlessly from the ceiling and smiling luminously at him. This continues till date. Happens every night. So he can’t sleep and has this urge to go out of the house which if he obeys, he ends up strangling people. So he never smiles unless he is paid to do it. The money he makes from appearing in advertisements of odorous deodorants goes into a piggy bank that he plans to one day donate to the Teddy Bears’ Welfare Committee. Rumour has it that on the verge of being a reformed man he is slowly turning into a teddy bear.
Ask him where the teddy is now
Naturally his bros have so much feels for him
The fourth guy, eldest of us all, has the most terrible story. I dread his age, knowing very well what happens to men when they reach his age. The other day after we packed up he nudged me and then pretended as if it had happened by mistake. He is completely devoid of self-confidence and doesn’t even look us in the eye. Rumour has it that although a communist at heart he voted for Mamata Banerjee when he saw what he thought was a glimpse of hope for change in Kolkata. However, soon the realisation dawned upon him that change is like having 100 shiny ten rupee coins and not having to spend them, which never happens, and nobody has change to give. Like nobody has a fuck to give. He has taken to alcohol and sniffs the He deodorant when is not eating what is in his tiffin box. What is in his tiffin box, you ask? What is in the baby diaper, you know? I can’t even bring myself to mention.
And I? I think life is like a red heart-shaped balloon. As ugly as that. And as temporary. Don’t even get me started on how He deodorant smells.
