How Indian Science Congress Brought Back Memories of Ancient Indian Science
A satirical story on the Indian Science Congress
The Indian Science Congress has just ended and there seems to be a deep interest worldwide by the enthusiasm the world’s youngest nation is taking in its ancient science. This phenomena must be viewed light of the fact that for the last few decades western science has been in limbo. The major discoveries are in computers and usability of objects, not in useful and credible technology. This year, even the Nobel committee was forced to bestow the prize on technical wizardry and not pure science. Oxfordshire University Professor Emeritus Archibald Cunningham, learned linguist and eco-conservator, has vowed to join forces with Indian academia to unravel all that was lost to the unfortunate saga of colonization of the commonwealth nations. Holding his nation guilty for rupturing the flow of knowledge from times immemorial to the present, Prof Cunningham urged the western world to join efforts to correct historical blunders, ‘For India still has a lot to teach us. Earlier, we were too full of ourselves and we made a mistake in taking the white man’s burden too literally. If we do not pay heed even now, we risk the possibility of not joining in with the new world order, led by India.’
‘For decades I have been sitting on my own discovery, not having the courage to face the world, but it is only now that I found the courage to articulate my findings. If it was not for India, I would still have been rotting amidst some bookshelves.’ With his eyes, the confidence of a newfound self-respect, and shedding the infamous stiff upper lip, he said. ‘I understand my discovery may upset many people, but for how long can you hide a significant truth?’
He proposed that plants are actually moving animals, thus risking the ire of vegetarians. He said he found this truth in his reading of Macbeth in which these lines occur:
Act 5, Scene 5, Line 30 onward.
[Enter a Messenger]
Thou comest to use thy tongue; thy story quickly.
Messenger: Gracious my lord,
I should report that which I say I saw,
But know not how to do it.
MACBETH: Well, say, sir.
Messenger: As I did stand my watch upon the hill,
I look’d toward Birnam, and anon, methought,
The wood began to move.
MACBETH: Liar and slave!
Messenger: Let me endure your wrath, if’t be not so:
Within this three mile may you see it coming;
I say, a moving grove.
‘What does Shakespeare mean by: the wood began to move? Of course, old boy Willy means that plants are not static beings; they are equipped by God with the ability for locomotion.’
‘If it upsets the assumptions of the vegetarians, so be it. There I have said it.’ He confessed that his knowledge is limited. The British texts are merely 500 years old when Indian texts go back 5000 years. ‘Yet, it is clear that at least 500 years back we had seeds that could grow into moving plants. Let the vegetarians find their real ethics. Each of us has to be true to our own self. These moving trees are my truth.’ He further encouraged a new scientific-anthropological reading of Beowulf, Chaucer, Thomas Kyd, Alexander Pope, even J R R Tolkien and others. ‘Art serves imagination, science serves pragmatics, both should move hand in hand,’ he noted.
Voice of support has come from another unlikely source, the Czech Republic. Ms Ludmila Černošek, the keeper of the famous Alchemist’s Cottage behind the Prague Castle, pražský hrad, expressed her excitement and willingness to join the research for ancient technologies. ‘We are alchemists. We understand materials and are willing to help Indian aviators discover the 33 alloys needed to build those wonderful aircrafts.’ She added that modern science had corrupted the mystical view of how materials lend their properties to one another. ‘Modern science is so prosaic, so dull. It rests on the premises of empirical evidence and the principle of falsification. While the first may be necessary, the second means that science can only propose a theory that comes true within certain frameworks. What kind of science is that?’ she asked a bit irritated. For example: a statement such as all crows are black is not considered good science for it excludes the possibility of finding a white crow. Good science will say all crows, found until now, are black. ‘This distinction between good and bad science is a very Catholic view and must be debunked. God is older than Catholicism. His ways are mystical. Has anyone ever questioned why the sun rises in the east?’ Ms Ludmila hoped that with this renewed interest she could overthrow the hegemony of the castle, expand her cottage, and re-establish the pristine order of the Celtic religion. ‘Since the years of the Iron Curtain and Soviet rule, we Czechs have been reduced to a tourist power alone. I want to assert that we are a great source of knowledge and alchemy and we shall prove it to regain our Czech pride.’
Fearing accusations, the German government has moved quickly on the issue. Though beleaguered with anti-immigration protests and the failing economy of Greece, it has promised to return all the words Max Mueller had hidden when he translated some of the ancient Indian texts. The words are lying in the Berlin Sound Archive along with files from the Weinberg Camp and Half-Moon Camp. Explaining that they did not want to share the words earlier because they did not trust the intention of the Indian government under its leading party the Congress, but are now comfortable with the new government, the German Chancellor has promised to return the words and their meanings and even synonyms at the earliest so that the Indian scientists can carry out research to save the world as described in the ancient texts. A statement from her office, in her own handwriting because she wanted it to be personal said, ‘I am originally a physical chemist, so I am personally very excited about the possibilities of rediscovering these discoveries and would love to return to the laboratory. I once again point towards India.’ The official statement said: the German government knows how important science is to the idea of nationhood. It is committed to restoring the practice and indigenous knowledge system of each nation. The government apologized for the lapse on the part of Herr Mueller and wished he had had a teacher as open as Mr Cunningham to guide him when he was translating the India texts. The government informed that this was the reason why they have built the network of the Goethe Institutes for so many years. The words will be returned systematically from these Institutes.
Mr Cunningham has emailed his proposals to premier scientific and cultural bodies in India and is expecting a reply soon. He is sure Indians know how to forgive and is hopeful that in his last days he will be able to start an effort towards the rediscovery of major technical break-throughs that will forever debunk the white man’s burden and restore the pride of the erstwhile-colonized nations and subjects. ‘We must start a major collaborative project — translations, re-engineering, and production of these technologies. I hope the Indian government gives me a chance. I have university experience,’ he added.
Note: For this interview, Ms Ludmila Černošek spoke in her native language Czech and we used a translator but she is ‘absolutely willing’ to learn Sanskrit. ‘I have heard it is a mathematical language.’